Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Two steps forward, NINE steps back

So somehow, this year I knew I had to get my "game face" ready for the holidays and decided the only way I'd get out with my sanity was to be ahead somehow.

Smart, right?

Yes- except it was like putting my brain on freeze instead of pause.

I have learned that just because you start things early doesn't mean that time STOPS completely. Huh.

For example:

I sent in the form early for school fundraisers. (High five people!)

Then I forgot to actually PAY for the ones I said I'd buy. (oops!)

I remembered this a WEEK later when I started to get irritated why they were not passed out yet. "Hello?? Who's in charge here?! I WANT MY M-O-N-E-Y back!!" Oh wait....

Yeah. Classy, right?

Also, I took our family Christmas photo early this year. (Thank you, thank you very much)

I even bought my stamps ahead of time, so I wouldn't have to go to the pesky post office. (Had to take a minute to remember what that place was called.. you know- the one you take packages to and mail um off to people you love?

(Maybe i've got bigger things to worry about...good grief)

Then, I forgot to ORDER the nice cards I spent waaaaaaay too much time picking out, PICK them up, and LABEL them..to actually get to their recipients. (Crap)

Sigh.

There was another thing I forgot that was major.. but I can't remember that right now....

Let's hope it was resolved.

(Whatever it was..)

This year, 3 really does feel like 8. Or 15 if I'm being honest.

Let's not even mention how I almost forgot that "rocket man" needed a stocking...or gifts for that matter.

In my defense it is his FIRST Christmas this year so it was a "new" thing to remember... Awful, I know.

(Luckily he's only 10 months so had I forgotten, we could have thrown some wrapping paper his way to play with. (Best.Present.Ever!!!)

However, next year I don't think that would fly...

(Note to self: From here on out--buy for 3 instead of 2 kids. Check!)

I hope that you all are not as frazzled as I am this year.

After all..Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

(And thank goodness it's almost over....will do better next year I promise!)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Try a little tenderness.....

So in the last couple of days, my daughter has been having problems with a boy in her class.

It seems he's being "mean" to her.

At first it was ripping a toy away from her, which she ripped back (good girl!) but then I got a note that she was to use her "words" instead of her "hands".

Oops.

But, um- did HE get the same memo???

Today, the SAME boy, pushed her down the slide, which made her cry.

Oh no. No. NO.

Not on my watch buddy.

Now if I didn't hunt that child down with my BIG MAMA BEAR HANDS...

So help me.

"Supposedly" (and by this I mean allegedly) the teacher pulled him aside and made him apologize.

I know the RIGHT thing is to teach my kids to be kind, and to show kindness to others, even when others are "unkind" to them.

I know two wrongs don't make a right, turn the other cheek, give them the benefit of the doubt, make love not war, blah, blah, blah...

How about "You don't hit me, and then YOU don't get hurt?"

Just kidding.

I think I struggle with it as a parent, because I also struggle with this as an adult.

I find the world to be a cruel(er), mean(er) place than it used to be.

Come on--is it just me?

It's getting harder and harder to find those "friendly faces" amongst the hissing ones in the crowd.

When did the world get filled with such ...haters?

Did the world change, or did I change?

I once read a sentiment that said "You should show kindness to the ones that need it the most" (or something along those lines).

Great in theory. Veeeeeeerrrrrrry hard in real life.

I guess it's all about balance. About teaching our kids (and ourselves) how we "should behave" vs. how we "want to behave" (aka- 'let er rip!) in dealing with bullies, or mean people in general.

(Isn't there a bumper sticker out there that states "mean people suck"? And if there isn't, there really should be)

I want my kids to be kind, but I also don't want them to be doormats for bullies.

Because bullies come in all shapes/sizes, and in all stages in life.

Unfortunately, they never seem to go out of style (major bummer).

This..is very hard. Especially when your own sweet baby is involved.

I myself was raised to always "be nice".

I wish I was taught to stand up for myself more.

But- to this day, it's my knee-jerk reaction to "be nice".

I can't help feeling like a schmuck sometimes, when someone takes my kindness for weakness.

Ultimately, I know what is right, and that I should try to instill the value of kindness in my children. Tricky stuff.

The GOOD news in all this?

My baby girl-

When she's had enough--the poor tormentor in her path will definitely know it.

(And Lord help that child if he doesn't get it together between now and then!)


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Friday, October 19, 2012

Note home...

And so it finally happened.

I knew it was just a matter of time.

My daughter got a note home from school.

Really? The kid is three. Well, three and a half..

It said that she was having trouble lately "Focusing and following directions.."

Which really meant : "FIX.IT."

Part of me felt as if I was the one that was in trouble.

Another part of me was just irked.

She is only a baby after all.

How much CAN a three (and a half!) year old focus?

But, I knew better.

She can focus-but rather it's IF- she so chooses...

In fact, she's probably more focused than most adults I know.

But, the girl is well...t-o-u-g-h.

Picture...biker chic princess.

Know what I mean?

She can keep up with the boys, but also very girlie.

Kinda like Fiona from "Shrek".

She is sweet, oh so sweet, and often emotional... But boy oh boy don't get her mad!

It was pretty much agreed upon from when she was a baby, that you probably didn't want to turn your back on that one....

Get my drift?

And so, for the moment, I'll just be glad the note didn't say other things..

We'll just cross that bridge when we get there.

But juuuust in case, I better practice my "surprised" face.

:)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Growth spurt!

Rocket man is growing so fast I can hardly believe it.

I swear he was only born a few months ago right? (At least that's what my tummy says-not a pretty sight)

(FYI...he's eight months old. But I'm pretty sure I can get away with telling people I "J-U-S-T had a baby")

Anyway, back to the growth spurt.

I can tell when he's going through one when he starts waking up to eat when he previously would sleep thru the night.

(Imagine how much this excites me)

But what is worrisome is that he has been waking up to PRACTICE crawling.

Yes.

Apparently he feels he doesn't get enough time in the day to perfect his craft, therefore- why not do it when everyone's asleep?

"And since I'm up-how bout some milk with that, ma? You're like, just lying there, not doing anything..." say his eyes through the crib bars.

Did I mention he eats like a linebacker? He is a solid, hefty boy. And I absolutely L-O-V-E chubby babies but it's getting difficult to carry this one these days..kid is like a sack of potatoes.

It is SCARY how much he can put away. He gets veeeeeeery upset when I back away with the baby food jar, but I just can't believe he can EAT that much!

What really freaked me out was the other night during a feeding (after a rigourous practice of trying to figure out the mechanics of crawling). He CHUG CHUG CHUGGED down the milk like he was in a frat house drinking from a keg.

When he was done he practically slapped my boob out of the way, like "NEXT! KEEP UM COMING!!!!!!!!" as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He looked me dead in the eye.

MORE.MILK.WOMAN.

Shudder.

All I know is-

I'm.scared.

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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Snow White and the Munchkins

Last night I had the worst migraine.

WORST.

It felt like a Mac truck had run over a cantaloupe (my head) crushed it, and it was sitting there wedged under the tire.

So thankfully my hubby was home to take care of the kids= priceless.

I tried to rest in the bedroom with no luck, so I came out to eat in the living room to be part of the family.

I was so sick I couldn't even sit up at the table. I just kind of propped myself up on the couch and ate when I could stomach it.

It was a 'make me feel barfy' kind of migraine. (My personal fave!)

So anyway, at one point I guess the kids were worried about me because I was so quiet and lifeless.

My sweet son came to gently pat my hair.

My daughter brought over a stuffed animal for me to cuddle (it always makes HER feel better so that's her 'get better' remedy for everyone).

It was all very 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' except there were 3 dwarfs, not 7, and well they're kids, not dwarfs, but kids are kinda dwarf-like come to think of it, and one of them was screaming his little head off as babies tend to do-let's call THAT one 'Grumpy'.

It was so ethereal and serene, with them standing over me, all sweet and loving and well-still. (Minus the screaming in the background thanks to good ol' 'Grumpy'!)

Our home is rarely serene. Full of love, yes. Serene-maybe three times, tops?

I felt so at peace.

Then I thought, "Oh Lord, please let this not be a stroke! Am I dying? Is this my last breath?!" (I tend to be dramatic, I'm told)

It just felt too good to be true, that one peaceful moment.

-------TODAY-----------------

I guess I lived! No Stroke.

And life is back to its crazy LOUD self.

(Sigh) It sure was nice while it lasted. (Except for the searing, rip-my-head-open pain, mind you)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, October 8, 2012

The end of an era

So today we cleaned out the living room/playroom, free of small chokeable items.

Yes, it's that time...

Rocket man will be crawling any day now.

I'm not ready for it- AT ALL.

I forgot how exhausting that stage is.

I'm guessing I'll be tired (well, more than the norm) for the next year, year and a half-tops, right?

But that's not the sad part.

The sad part was putting things away for my baby girl to play with in her room. Like a "BIG GIRL".

I don't know why I'm so sad.

It just feels like the end of an era. Of her being a baby... and moving on to-
LEAVING ME!!!!!!

I know, that's silly, right?

But she IS 3 1/2!

I know I was just as sad when it happened to my eldest boy, when he moved his toys into his room when she was starting to crawl.

But this time it feels so different. Did I mention she's my ONLY girl??

It makes me sad. And filled with dread.

Next will be boys, wild music, driving and staying out late. And hating me, just because I'm her mother.

Don't all teenage girls fight with their mothers??

I suppose I'm looking too far down the road a bit. (I tend to overprepare)

Makes me (almost) want another child..if only for another little girl.

I know.

Now THAT'S some crazy talkin'....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Busy busy busy

Lately, there doesn't seem to be any time to do well...

Anything.

I've realized that having three at three different stages in life is..

difficult to say the least.

It's kinda like reading a book, cooking dinner,

folding clothes, doing jumping jacks,

all while balancing on a ladder.

Man, I'm exhausted...

I'm sure most-if not all mothers, can relate!

Babies/children seem to occupy all my brain space lately.

I had a funny story or two (!) the other day but they've seem to have vanished.

That happens a lot lately..

And my sense of humor!

I used to have a great sense of humor.

That seems to have run off with my memory...

(Big Sigh)

Maybe they'll be back one day?

To my loyal follower(s):

A post! (wink, wink)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The BIG Day ...

So the BIG day came and went. And, it was awful (as was expected) but not awful like I thought it would be (it never is folks).

I couldn't sleep. It had been months.

Months! I knew it was just waiting for me. There was no way around it.

I felt it in my gut.

It was making me ill.

I was having nightmares.

I was tired of being afraid. Or rather, afraid for her. I couldn't take it anymore.

I just had to go through it. There was no getting around it.

It's been that shadow lingering over me. One day soon, my heart would be ripped out and thrown to the ground.

That's right people. We're talking about the first day of school....

Finally, I just wanted to get it over with. My nerves were shot and frankly, going that long with preschool nightmares, I was on the edge.

I just wanted to "rip the band aid off" so to speak.

And so the BIG day came.

She woke up bright and early, with a sweet smile on her face. She always wakes up like this.

One of my names for her is "sunshine".

We had breakfast. My son was not so thrilled that summer was indeed over but my baby girl was all smiles at starting this thing called "school".

I tried to put on a brave face, when I was dying inside.

Looking back, I'm sure I was a little too chipper and spoke in a sing song way, which I'm sure freaked the kiddos out.

I am so NOT the chipper type.

They were onto me...

We drove to school, my stomach lurched.

Thankfully it was a short drive.

As we got closer, she seemed to get more and more quiet.

Gulp.

As we got out of the car and walked to school, she seemed excited...good sign, right?

"Big girl!" I thought. (Sad mommy....)

As we got closer and she saw all the bigger kids (really- why do they let those animals near the BABIES????)

(Yes, my sweet son is one of those "animals" but at least I know THAT one.)

She started walking slower and slower.. (broke my heart)

I tried to shield her from the BIG BAD WORLD and immediately in that second decided I would indeed homeschool (did I mention tuition was paid in full???!)

The bell rang.

Dum, dum, duuuuuuum.

My son took off (no kiss, no goodbye, nothing). Typical.

I walked up to the sign in area.

Some other child was screaming her head off. I felt for that mama, but really- every woman for himself people!! I knew that kid could set my daughter off at any second.

It would be like the domino effect.

But..she didn't cry.

If she was rattled, she didn't show it. (Brave little one!)

The time came for her to go in, and I thought I'd get out unscathed.

She turned, hugged my legs, and said:

"I want you to come with me mama."

Knife in the heart.

Bullet to the chest.

I said all cheery like:

"Oh, (ha ha ha) but I'll be back to pick you up!" (How lame is that??!)

I'm no good on my feet.

And at that moment her teacher kneeled down to hug her.

She walked in, dwarfed by her hello kitty backpack, and never looked back.

Another bullet fired.

Later when I look back, it struck me that she didn't say "I want to go home" as others did.

Instead, she wanted to go, but wanted me there WITH her on that new journey.

(She DOES still love her mama!)

At that point I knew she was ready, which, as much as it hurt, made it better about our decision to send her.

I still think 3 is waaaaaay too young to go to school, but really I think I would feel that way at ANY age, ya know?

---A month in---

She is doing great! No crying, although I do see some behavior changes that we are working through.

Now if you can believe it, the problem is -she loves her teacher a little TOO much!

On the weekend, (aka MY time with my baby!) she wants to go to school and see "Mrs. What's her face".

Huh. Didn't see that one coming...

Sigh-This parenting stuff is rough!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Fool me once....

Ok, so in this scenario I guess I'm the fool and/or its been so long that I've forgotten what it's like to be the mother of a boy!

Rocket man did it again. And I'm talking like tidal wave pee.

I started to change him.

Without a changing mat, on my side of the bed. I know I know...

Was it a Leap of faith on my part? I say stupidity.

I knew he was already wet so I thought it was a no-brainer.

(Nonsense. In the future- TRUST NO ONE)

Next thing I knew a shower hit me. For a second I thought we had a leak in our ceiling or it was raining inside and why was no one else wet? (Yes- I really did..)

My mouth was open and I'm pretty sure I was screaming. It was like a fire hose, shooting everywhere and I had to get a handle on it.

Once I conquered the dragon (so to speak), I accessed the damage.

Jeez buddy! What is that kid drinking??

Luckily the closest it got to my FACE was my neck... and possibly part of my pony tail.

"NO!!!!!!!!" I told him.

My sweet daughter said "NO mommy! Be nice to him! He's just a baby!!!"

She's got a point.

When will I ever learn???

I did wash the sheets right away this time. There was no getting around it.

By the way, I'm pretty sure he's too young to really understand what happened, but I could of sworn he was enjoying every second. His face read "Seriously-how many times are you gonna fall for that one?!"

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Christmas in.. July?

Today is my last day with my baby....

Well, not really but it feels like it! My middle child (my only girl!) is starting preschool tomorrow.

I have such mixed emotions. One the one hand I'm stoked! More free time to myself, not having someone parrot me all day. I'd also be down a kid (or two actually) and could actually give rocket man some undivided attention (being the third and all..)

But on the other hand? She's my bud! We would hang out together. It was like being with a little mini me!! And she's funny-so funny! Kid cracks me up, man.

She also gives THE BEST hugs ever. She is always up for "huggy bears" as we call it (giggle).

Man I hope it's not traumatic for both of us.

I still remember when my first born started school. He was climbing the fence to get to me. Screaming! It was horrific. I went to the car crying and I was a mess all day. The last image I had of him was pure panic and confusion. It was baaaad.

So now I thought it would be easier, no? Second time around? I've been trying to prepare her, so she would know what to expect- but can they really understand at age 3?

I know in the long run it will be good for her (right?) and she'll make friends (please God!) and she'll come to love it. Or at the very least not hate it? (Or me for sending her?)

She's already been asking me things like :

"Will you be waiting for me on the bench?" (Knife in the heart)

and

"But where will I put my backpack?" (Sad! This is what she worries about I guess?)

"Will brother be with me?" (Ugh, I was hoping she wouldn't put two and two together)

Yikes! So basically I told her (although it felt like LIES!) :

"I will be there right after you're done!"

and

"Your teacher will tell you where to put it."

and last but not least (because he gives her courage)

"Brother will be there but in a different class, but you might see him around school!"(Holding my breath, wait for it...and- nothing! Whew! Totally dodged that bullet.)

Ugh, this part of parenting sucks man.

For a whole year while we would wait to pick up her brother she would ask "When can I go mama?" and pretty much I've dreaded it since we applied to get her in. I could feel my stomach drop but think "I still have x amount of time with her!" And now the countdown is up (barf).

I've fantasized of running off with her just the two of us into the sunset! But of course I can't do that...

Can I?

I saw a commercial once for the store Staples with a back to school shopping sale. It had the Christmas song "It's the most wonderful time of the year" playing in the background.

A father happily pushed his shopping car (full of school supplies) around, dancing up and down the aisles, happy as a clam, while his two school aged children dragged behind him with "woe is me", "my life is over!" looks on their faces, while he couldn't be happier!

AND-I totally get it! I feel that way where as my son is concerned. I love him no less but the kid is driving me nuts! He has waaay to much energy for one person. Seriously.

I'm sure having a new baby to take care of and the fact that my son wants to fight with his sister ALL.DAY.LONG. doesn't help either. I love him but he's gots' to go-back-to-school I say! (By the way-teachers are completely underpaid in my opinion)

And so that gives me hope with my daughter, that in time I will feel the same with her.

I'm sure it will be fine..

Right?!


(Just in case, after I drop her off, I'm totally coming home to rock myself in the fetal position!)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Good Times

So today I had to take my two older kids to the dentist. Super fun (not).

I was nervous because my oldest (he's 7) has a super sensitive gag reflex and can pretty much look at something the wrong way and gag.

The last time we took him we went to the mall together afterward. The hubby and I were high-fiving each other about how well he did only to have him completely BARF all over a store showroom 40 min later.

Not a little bit either. He barfed from inside the store all the way out. I was waiting outside while the poor hubby had my son and our middle child (still in a stroller at the time) and I knew something was wrong when I saw them running out of the store while hearing that awful SPLAT sound as his puke hit the floor...

Let's just saw we're not going back there anytime soon..sorry bout that guys!

So today I was nervous seeing how my son reacts and all and for my daughter, seeing it was her first time. The thing about her? You never really know how she's gonna react to well... anything.

That one is... Unpredictable lets say. And that is a nice way of putting it (trust me). Hubby and I call her "bag-o" as in bag o' fun? Because you never know what you're gonna get.

And whatever you may pull out of that bag, may not indeed be what you get...

Whereas my son? I can pretty much spot a mile away, anything he's gonna do, even before he does, or has even thought about doing it.

The kid is paper thin and so easy to read.

So, back to the dentist-needless to say I was nervous.

Plus, my hubby (lucky bastard!) was at work, so I had to suck it up and do it alone. The Baby (rocket man) was at home with grandparents (thank you Jesus!) or things would have been a lot more stressful, trust me..

So, my son went first. I thought I might have heard some screaming but I'm not positive. I had a "talk" with him beforehand to NOT scare his sister and put on the bravest face he had. He did-ok, considering his history and all..

He did however tell me later that he had to hold back barfing the entire time and even as the dentist spoke with me, I could see him out of the corner of my eye with "that look".

In our house that "look"= puking in the near future. I kept thinking "wrap it up lady or something reeeeally bad is gonna go down (or come up so to speak) and we can NEVER show our faces here again (hence, the incident at the store..)

And for my daughter? She did awesome! She did however keep her eye on the hygenist the entire time. Kinda like "hurt me and there WILL be a problem lady..."

She had the whole death stare going on while the sweet hygenist had her whole sing song approach going on. It was pretty hilarious from where I stood. She never once took her eyes off of her...

When we were almost done the hygenist said she was the BEST she's ever seen especially being her first time (and for being a 3 year old I guess).

Agh! The Kiss of death! Whenever anyone says that you know for sure some type of behavior will follow and it will not be good. But, luckily we got out without a scratch.

Until we have to go back in six months time...

When I'm totally making the hubby take them!

P.s. It's been over five hours now and no puking from my oldest...We're making progress people!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Rocket Man

I've hit a new low...

Rocket man peed all over my blanket last night while I was changing him in bed. Now this has happened many a times and usually it happens when the hubster is changing the baby. But-it ALWAYS happens on my side of the bed and it is ALWAYS on my blanket. Hmm...coincidence? I think not.

In the past (because it happens ALL the time) I've had hissy fits, jumped out of bed and got another blanket and even once I put it immediately in the wash because it bothered me so...

I always lecture my hubby to "cover the rocket! cover the rocket!" and usually he's so tired he could give a rip. I continue to give him a hard time telling him "just assume the rocket will launch ok?!" but it never fails. In his defense he says it just happens so fast!

(R-I-G-H-T buddy) Never on MY watch!

And so how funny was it (not) when it happened to me, on MY watch, on my side of the bed, on my blanket (like it ALWAYS does). I finally GOT what he was saying. It really DOES just happen so fast!

So you know what I did?

I turned it over (its a really thick blanket I swear), used the other side and pretended it never happened.  I did wonder if the smell of fresh pee would bother me... I mean at least it's not like grown up man pee but little, whittle baby pee.. right? RIGHT?! Agh, who am I kidding?

Pee is pee is pee is pee...

The little stinker... I mean pee-er.

P.s.

But for the record- I threw it in the wash first thing in the morning. (My standards haven't completely dropped out of sight!)

Monday, July 2, 2012

Love/Hate relationship with breastfeeding

I have mixed feelings about breastfeeding. First of all-it rocks! It's free, ready made and supposedly the best you can give your child. I'm in no way a BF nazi. I believe a woman should do whatever works for her.

For me, it works for the most part. It works because I am lazy and cheap. I figure "hey, something that I can give them with no preparation whatsoever? AND I can burn calories? It's FREE? SIGN ME UP!" And, I love the way they look (and I totally mean my boobs) when I am BF! I full cup bigger?? OH HECK yeah!

However what sucks (no pun intended!) is that:

1) Unless you pump (which I don't-hence the laziness) then you must be ready available almost all the time to feed the little one

2) Babies have Teeth- nuff said

3) Waking up at night. If I wasn't so lazy I'd pump then I could wake up hubby to feed the baby but most likely he'd sleep through the crying and I'd have to wake up anyway to feed the baby, heat the bottle, so on and so forth-not my cup of tea. Soo much easier just to pop the baby on the boob.

4) When your baby plays "shark and seal" with your boob - its all very "National Geographic" like. Guess who's the shark in this scenario? One of my favorites -NOT. Also, not to be confused with #2. Totally different yet painfully similar.

5) Hungry ALL the time. SO hungry!!! The dang thing about burning calories is that you get hungry and so you want to eat everything in sight, all day long.

6) Thirsty ALL the time. SO thirsty!!! (like you're in the outback, doing a walkabout kind of thirsty, but you don't remember this of course until you've sat down to bf your little one. NEVER FAILS)

7) Plugged ducts or being so full you feel like you've got rocks strapped to your chest? I already spent 9 months sleeping on my back and now I've gotta do it again? You MUST be kidding me. If I weren't so lazy I'd get up and pump but... Did I mention the laziness?

8) Flailing around. Seriously, sometimes it's like trying to feed an octopus. But it sure does beat #2 & 4!

Now I can tell you once I've outweighed the good with the bad, there were many a times I thought to throw in the towel. But-then! I'd go through what I thought would be me drying up and I'd pray "please God! let me just get through a few more months of this!" and then I'd be thankful again that I was able to do this for my little one.

Also, I had my sister remind me that as hard as it is...it brings my baby so much.... peace and comfort (along with sustenance of course!)...and for a cranky guy- it really helped to calm him down (after he played shark/seal- of course)

When I see him relax and go to his "happy place"and know ONLY I can do that? Plus- the little guy is just so darn cute when he's all sleepy like...

Then I am reminded how the good outweighs the bad and I tell myself "only (blank) number of months to go!" and I know when it's all said and done, I will cry like I did with the other two when I'm no longer wanted...that and to have them shrink down to smaller then they were to begin with (now how is THAT fair?)