Love/Hate relationship with breastfeeding

I have mixed feelings about breastfeeding. First of all-it rocks! It's free, ready made and supposedly the best you can give your child. I'm in no way a BF nazi. I believe a woman should do whatever works for her.

For me, it works for the most part. It works because I am lazy and cheap. I figure "hey, something that I can give them with no preparation whatsoever? AND I can burn calories? It's FREE? SIGN ME UP!" And, I love the way they look (and I totally mean my boobs) when I am BF! I full cup bigger?? OH HECK yeah!

However what sucks (no pun intended!) is that:

1) Unless you pump (which I don't-hence the laziness) then you must be ready available almost all the time to feed the little one

2) Babies have Teeth- nuff said

3) Waking up at night. If I wasn't so lazy I'd pump then I could wake up hubby to feed the baby but most likely he'd sleep through the crying and I'd have to wake up anyway to feed the baby, heat the bottle, so on and so forth-not my cup of tea. Soo much easier just to pop the baby on the boob.

4) When your baby plays "shark and seal" with your boob - its all very "National Geographic" like. Guess who's the shark in this scenario? One of my favorites -NOT. Also, not to be confused with #2. Totally different yet painfully similar.

5) Hungry ALL the time. SO hungry!!! The dang thing about burning calories is that you get hungry and so you want to eat everything in sight, all day long.

6) Thirsty ALL the time. SO thirsty!!! (like you're in the outback, doing a walkabout kind of thirsty, but you don't remember this of course until you've sat down to bf your little one. NEVER FAILS)

7) Plugged ducts or being so full you feel like you've got rocks strapped to your chest? I already spent 9 months sleeping on my back and now I've gotta do it again? You MUST be kidding me. If I weren't so lazy I'd get up and pump but... Did I mention the laziness?

8) Flailing around. Seriously, sometimes it's like trying to feed an octopus. But it sure does beat #2 & 4!

Now I can tell you once I've outweighed the good with the bad, there were many a times I thought to throw in the towel. But-then! I'd go through what I thought would be me drying up and I'd pray "please God! let me just get through a few more months of this!" and then I'd be thankful again that I was able to do this for my little one.

Also, I had my sister remind me that as hard as it is...it brings my baby so much.... peace and comfort (along with sustenance of course!)...and for a cranky guy- it really helped to calm him down (after he played shark/seal- of course)

When I see him relax and go to his "happy place"and know ONLY I can do that? Plus- the little guy is just so darn cute when he's all sleepy like...

Then I am reminded how the good outweighs the bad and I tell myself "only (blank) number of months to go!" and I know when it's all said and done, I will cry like I did with the other two when I'm no longer wanted...that and to have them shrink down to smaller then they were to begin with (now how is THAT fair?)