I can't believe it. My baby girl is 4 today!
4! That's one year away from 5-official kid-dom.
I have mixed emotions, but mostly sad. She's growing up waaaaaay too fast!
Everything is "I do it! I want to do it MYSELF!"
Last night at dinner, she didn't want to hold my hand as we walked back to the table from the bathroom. Instead, she wanted to hold her "auntie's hand".
Already I'm pushed on the side. One day we will fight and she will scream at me that she "hates me". I just know it.
Lately I've been saying "Are you getting bigger? Are you growing when you're sleeping, when I'm not looking? You're not going to leave mama, right?"
(Poor kid- the pressure I know)
To which she replies "It's 'ok' to get bigger mama", while she pats me on the shoulder to console me.
SOB!!!
And you know what? She's totally right. It IS ok to get bigger.. I just kind of wanted her to stay small for ME. Such a smart girl I tell you...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Funny and sad....
This morning and I was getting the kids off to school (such a blessing after a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG spring break-seriously- a break for who??) I was in a rush and on the verge of a panic attack.
My daughter was on the potty while I tried to hurry her along. She had her hand up her shirt, and was giggling. When I looked at her weird she said "When I touch my nene's (boobies) it tickles!!!"
I told her to stop, and hurry up and go potty.
Then she did it again. "We may have a problem..." I thought to myself.
Lately she is so obsessed with...parts.
Then she asked me "Boys have pee pees, and girls have flowers. Right mama?! Right??!" I swear lately she asks this of me once a day. Almost like "Just so we're C-L-E-A-R.....Boys have __________ and ..."
(I could just imagine the things she was sharing at school, or starting to notice for that matter in a house filled with 3 boys)
I'm gonna handle that issue as a parent with "Ignorance is bliss".
Just sayin'.
as for SAD things, while watching the movie "Up" my oldest son asked me "why do some people not have babies and some people have babies but don't WANT them?"
Whoa-deep.
So I thought a moment and told him the truth:
"The people that can't, their bodies won't let them and for the ones that have them and don't want them? They give them away."
"But w-h-y don't they want them?" as if he could not quite understand how this was possible.
Ok, a bit harsh but true right? I thought a bit harder about how to explain to him how the world works, unplanned/complicated pregnancies/situations and settled for:
"But", I told him, "we were lucky to have THREE babies! And? Those people that give those babies away, sometimes they don't have the money to take care of them, or they don't have help. So then the people that can't have babies adopt those babies."
"That's so sad" he said. I agreed. Very sad, very complicated, very hard indeed.
He still had a dark cloud over his face like as was taking it all in.
Oy vey! I think I did pretty good on my feet- truthful but not brutal. Not too botched up, right?!
(Note to self-always be prepared for IMPORTANT big kid questions, you never know when they will be sprung on you)
As for rocket man, he is screaming in his crib (as I type this) after trying to hit his brother AND sister, being a crabby crabcakes, and desperately needing a nap. He is talking constantly in his jibber jabberish way and I can just imagine the things THAT kid is saying to me...
Another day in mommy-dom I guess.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
My daughter was on the potty while I tried to hurry her along. She had her hand up her shirt, and was giggling. When I looked at her weird she said "When I touch my nene's (boobies) it tickles!!!"
I told her to stop, and hurry up and go potty.
Then she did it again. "We may have a problem..." I thought to myself.
Lately she is so obsessed with...parts.
Then she asked me "Boys have pee pees, and girls have flowers. Right mama?! Right??!" I swear lately she asks this of me once a day. Almost like "Just so we're C-L-E-A-R.....Boys have __________ and ..."
(I could just imagine the things she was sharing at school, or starting to notice for that matter in a house filled with 3 boys)
I'm gonna handle that issue as a parent with "Ignorance is bliss".
Just sayin'.
as for SAD things, while watching the movie "Up" my oldest son asked me "why do some people not have babies and some people have babies but don't WANT them?"
Whoa-deep.
So I thought a moment and told him the truth:
"The people that can't, their bodies won't let them and for the ones that have them and don't want them? They give them away."
"But w-h-y don't they want them?" as if he could not quite understand how this was possible.
Ok, a bit harsh but true right? I thought a bit harder about how to explain to him how the world works, unplanned/complicated pregnancies/situations and settled for:
"But", I told him, "we were lucky to have THREE babies! And? Those people that give those babies away, sometimes they don't have the money to take care of them, or they don't have help. So then the people that can't have babies adopt those babies."
"That's so sad" he said. I agreed. Very sad, very complicated, very hard indeed.
He still had a dark cloud over his face like as was taking it all in.
Oy vey! I think I did pretty good on my feet- truthful but not brutal. Not too botched up, right?!
(Note to self-always be prepared for IMPORTANT big kid questions, you never know when they will be sprung on you)
As for rocket man, he is screaming in his crib (as I type this) after trying to hit his brother AND sister, being a crabby crabcakes, and desperately needing a nap. He is talking constantly in his jibber jabberish way and I can just imagine the things THAT kid is saying to me...
Another day in mommy-dom I guess.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Funny kid sayings
So around our house I like to play a game called "Where did all these kids come from??"
They all respond "From your tummy!!!"
I say "Are you sure???!" They all yell "YES!!!!" at the top of their lungs. Such a fun game...
(And-really? I got kids coming out of my ears and it's all kind of a blur..
I joke they are like Gremlins. We had one, he must have eaten something and gotten wet at midnight, and then BAM! "he" became "they".
Once I said "Are you sure I didn't buy you all at the store??"
They all said "NO Mama!!" And then my sweet boy said, "Mama- they don't sell K-I-D-S at the store! That's crazy!!" He said it while looking at me like "Woman-what are you thinking??!"
Every so often this game leads to questions. "But HOW mama? HOW does the baby come out?" my oldest will ask. In fact, with my last pregnancy, he was obsessed with this topic.
To which I would respond "It just does. Go brush your teeth."
(Such a chicken I know, but I'm not quite ready for that story anytime soon)
And so this morning we started discussing who was born first, who was the biggest, smallest, middle, etc.
I told my daughter she didn't want to come out when it was her time (true story-which I will totally make her feel bad about once she's a bit older-it was by far the worst delivery. By FAR.
(Shudder)
So anyhoo she responds in typical "her" fashion "I was looking at your bones!"
Funny kid....
FYI-It definitely felt like she was trying to grab ahold of a few on her way out.
(Shudder)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
They all respond "From your tummy!!!"
I say "Are you sure???!" They all yell "YES!!!!" at the top of their lungs. Such a fun game...
(And-really? I got kids coming out of my ears and it's all kind of a blur..
I joke they are like Gremlins. We had one, he must have eaten something and gotten wet at midnight, and then BAM! "he" became "they".
Once I said "Are you sure I didn't buy you all at the store??"
They all said "NO Mama!!" And then my sweet boy said, "Mama- they don't sell K-I-D-S at the store! That's crazy!!" He said it while looking at me like "Woman-what are you thinking??!"
Every so often this game leads to questions. "But HOW mama? HOW does the baby come out?" my oldest will ask. In fact, with my last pregnancy, he was obsessed with this topic.
To which I would respond "It just does. Go brush your teeth."
(Such a chicken I know, but I'm not quite ready for that story anytime soon)
And so this morning we started discussing who was born first, who was the biggest, smallest, middle, etc.
I told my daughter she didn't want to come out when it was her time (true story-which I will totally make her feel bad about once she's a bit older-it was by far the worst delivery. By FAR.
(Shudder)
So anyhoo she responds in typical "her" fashion "I was looking at your bones!"
Funny kid....
FYI-It definitely felt like she was trying to grab ahold of a few on her way out.
(Shudder)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Simplicity
Ok, I gotta be honest. My kindness project has taken a back seat to life.
Right now I'm working on simplicity.
As it's been pointed out to me, I am a bit of a perfectionist and well, if it can't be "perfect", then it's pointless.
That was my "then" attitude and now, I'm too tired to do any of that!
This morning as I was getting my son and daughter ready for school, I looked at my daughter's nails and they were so dirty and long.
(I swear I just cut them. I try to do all the kids around the same time so as not to spend my whole life cutting little fingernails like Groundhog Day)
"Your nails are so dirty!" I said more to myself than her.
"It's ok mama- it's only DIRT!"
Ahh, to be a kid again...
And you know what? She was absolutely right!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Right now I'm working on simplicity.
As it's been pointed out to me, I am a bit of a perfectionist and well, if it can't be "perfect", then it's pointless.
That was my "then" attitude and now, I'm too tired to do any of that!
This morning as I was getting my son and daughter ready for school, I looked at my daughter's nails and they were so dirty and long.
(I swear I just cut them. I try to do all the kids around the same time so as not to spend my whole life cutting little fingernails like Groundhog Day)
"Your nails are so dirty!" I said more to myself than her.
"It's ok mama- it's only DIRT!"
Ahh, to be a kid again...
And you know what? She was absolutely right!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Day 2 sucks the big one
HA! I knew it.
I lasted a whole day.
I remember why I trip up.
It's called LIFE people.
Triggers.
A comment made, feelings hurt, rushing around, crying. Lots and LOTS of crying.
All of it.
Yesterday was all "Kum ba yah".
Today-not so much.
Kids wake up too early, on the wrong side of the bed, or just --themselves. (Just kidding)
Sigh.. I guess this is where the big girl panties come in? Time for me to pull them up?
Easy days are well... easy.
The harder ones build character, puts some "hairs on your chest" like my grandpa used to say. (Which is awesome except even I knew at 7 that girls didn't need or WANT hairs on their chest.)
I personally just want to get through it..with some (newfound) grace.
Pray for me!
Day 1
Yesterday-awesome!
Last night-awesome!
There were some bullets/disasters coming my way but I was able to avoid them or buffer them out. Yay for me!
There were rainbows, and sunshine and glittery fairy dust everywhere! And lots of JOY JOY JOY!
Ha-I can SO do this every day..right?
Yeah well read day 2.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Last night-awesome!
There were some bullets/disasters coming my way but I was able to avoid them or buffer them out. Yay for me!
There were rainbows, and sunshine and glittery fairy dust everywhere! And lots of JOY JOY JOY!
Ha-I can SO do this every day..right?
Yeah well read day 2.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
The Kindness project
I can't decide whether this will be part of my blog, or a new blog but at the moment I can't get all caught up with that. OCD will take over and then I will have missed the point in first place.
A New Year! Usually I hate change but this year I have a good feeling about it. I feel like it will be a year with revelations and also great change, and much MUCH joy. Well, either that or I'm gonna die and deep down my body knows "This is your last chance at the rodeo- don't blow it kid..." I'm really hoping that's not it tho...major bummer to say the least.
And so, in a really bad fight with a loved one, it has been brought up that lately I am well... cruel. And to quote "have gotten crueler with time". Ouch! After much thought, preceded by deep resentment and mentally making a note to NEVER speak to this person again! I realized... they were right.
Somehow with a new baby to the mix, plus all the stresses of life, tack on guilt of not being able to do more, letting people down, blah blah blah.. it all was killing me. Like, I was drowning. I've known this for awhile and I would try to thrive on the stress like I did in my youth, but it was getting to me man!
And so I've resolved to take it easy. Not just with my time, but with my heart and mind. Ok soul too.. (felt wrong NOT to throw that in too!)
I'm gonna give myself a break. But not in the "poor me and my awful life!!" (all victim like) but more just getting back to being joyful and .. happy? Not even happy. How about kind? Even when I am not shown kindness back. Even when I am in a crap mood, tired, and have no idea what to make or have for dinner. When the baby is crying, the other two are fighting. When I am angry, stressed, tired or even sick/in pain.
Because really? Is it WORTH getting it all done if at the end of the day you've hurt those around you and you hate yourself because of it? Yeah, I'm thinking not. Or, I know not.
I feel like right now this little light of mine, this gem I got going for me is dim now. I don't want it to blow out. I don't want to forget this feeling I've got.
So- I will hold myself accountable to it. Every day, a way to be.. kinder. I'm sure, actually I'm positive, this is how Jesus wants us to be. To love one another, even if you cannot STAND the person. I will try, I really will, adn give it my best shot every day.
I'm sure it will show up around me. Like a flower that blooms. It will show up on my kids, my spouse, friends, and myself. I can go to bed not feeling like the grinch or smeegle from "Lord of the rings" (Sorry-just saw "The Hobbit" in the theaters). Poor guy was so...confused and having such inner conflicts within himself! I sooooo get it buddy!
Now, I'm sure I will slip up. Just writing this I almost freaked out as my sweet girl asked me questions and INTERRUPTED my thoughts. The irony I tell you...
The biggest struggle I think will be with the kids. They are such... willful creatures I tell you. They try my patience all day, every day. And usually I tend to lead with...an ironfist lets say...
THAT will be a struggle.
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